This morning when you woke and kissed me good morning, we stood nearly eye to eye. How can one little boy grow so much overnight?
You chuckle at that and remind me that the doctor says you will probably grow to be 6’ 4”. Laughing you tell me not to worry, that you’ll just have to lift me up one day to kiss me good morning when that happens.
Promise me, my son, that your kisses will never stop!
It has been 3,652.42 days since you were born.
Today marks the close of the first decade of your life and the beginning of the next.
Today, you are TEN!
I will never forget the first time I ever saw you, just one day old. I wasn’t expecting to feel anything special. But the minute I saw you…you took my breath away. I don’t ever remember having seen anything quite as perfect as your face that day.
As I reflect back today, I am certain I saw your beauty, but I did not know how incredibly strong you were, both physically or emotionally. It never dawned on me that it was your huge spirit and sheer determination that kept you alive those 9 months despite the fact that the deck had been stacked so clearly against you. I refused to let myself imagine then what you had been through just to get here or where you might end up now that you had, indeed, arrived. I tried to fool myself into believing that the mere fact that you made it as far as you had meant that you were strong enough to survive the life you had been born into.
There's a big difference between survive and thrive, I came to learn.
I had a very busy life you know; single, career girl in her prime…no ties… just starting out on my own with big plans, things to do, people to meet, social life to maintain and a world to see. That afternoon at the hospital, I pushed my rose colored glasses back up the bridge of my nose and went on my way.
In a matter of a few months my life (our lives) changed forever. Thinking back, now, I believe that the moment I met you in the hospital you magically and indelibly embedded your heart inside of mine. That is so YOU!
My world truly stopped revolving around me that day and I just couldn't put you out of my mind.
I took comfort, however, in rationalizing that you were put here for a reason. I remember thinking that your arrival was probably meant to be a catalyst to ignite a spark of change in someone who had squandered so much of her life and who, in realizing what a miracle your survival was despite the insurmountable odds she placed in your way, would certainly change because of it. I apologize to you today for only thinking of you back then in terms of your being a means to another's end, a tool rather than the person you were just hours old...the person you were to become. Old habits die hard. I had spent a lifetime wondering what it would take for true change to occur. When I saw the miracle of you, I knew there was nothing and no one on this Earth more incredible than you. If change was going to happen for her it would be because of you.
And so, you waited it out. A couple months passed. I’d swoop in time and again when something blew up or problems flared. I’d try to right the course, tidy that little messy world up, give you love and hugs, try to make your life better without interfering and hope for the best.
The winds of change never did begin to blow and you, little helpless boy, found yourself squarely in the cross-hairs of that world out of control.
In the blink of an eye, it happened…. "the call.” Some people wait years for the call. I wasn't even waiting and within hours you were fast asleep in my arms...just you and me, forever.
I never forgot the words I whispered in your precious little ear that night……never again, never again will I ever put anyone before you. I am so sorry you had to wait so long. I am so sorry that your life was put in such jeopardy by those who swore you were their priority. I promised you then that I would never let you fall and, baby, I never, ever will.
Turns out we were both put here for a very special reason. We were put here for each other!
Nearly 10 years have passed since you and I began our journey.
We have had many challenges and we met them all head on. I have never waivered in my decision and I thank God for placing my arms around you when the time came. My heart belongs to you.
Biology does not create the bond between mother, father, sister and brother. You and I together had the privilege of choosing Papa to join our family. That day, Papa committed to both of us because we are a team!
Then the three of us prepared for the long 9 months we had to wait for Sweet Pea to make her entrance.
When I think of us, I see you and me as the sturdy trunk of this family and those two lovelies are our precious, beautiful branches. We are a family that love created...one very special, hand-picked member at a time!
On this day, I celebrate the fact that I have been blessed and honored beyond measure to be your mother all these years. People often say how lucky you are to have me as your mother. That's because they can't possibly imagine how lucky I am to have you for my son.
When I look at you, I see your heart of gold, empathy for others, an iron will and resolve, a curiosity and sense of wonder unparalleled, a razor sharp wit and keen sense of humor. Your wisdom is far beyond your years. You are a zenith of electrifying, infectious energy with the ability to focus with laser precision when you want something. Your charm and the magnetism that has been your hallmark from the very begining, have only gotten better with time . Without a doubt, you are a remarkable young man. No one who knows you can resist your unique brand of exuberance, intensity and mischief. You have single handedly changed lives with yours and I have every reason to believe that you are well on your way to even greater things ahead.
You are MY MIRACLE….my WONDERBOY!
A decade later, I remain in awe when I look at you…. you still take my breath away.
Happy 10th Birthday, WonderBoy!
I love you with all of my heart,
Mama
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